let me tell you what it feels like when someone rips your heart out and stomps on it, and smashed it to a million pieces.

it's awful.
theres really nothing else like it.
makes you feel worthless.
dumb.
like nothing.
unwanted.
stupid..

i could go on and on but you get the just of it.
i deleted my facebook tonight.. yeah i've deleted it before but i think this time it's different. when i go on there, all i see or hear just makes my heart sink and makes me think.. why do i bother? no one on there cares about me. it's just a huge clique for people to "like" your status and make you think you need to compete with everyone elses life. i'm pretty much over that.. i really don't feel like thats the direction i need to go in my life. as far as making a change, i'm doing it.. and i'm starting right there, taking the negative triggers out of my life. maybe someday i'll be able to go back and look at stuff, but i think right now i need to move on.. and God is telling me that facebook isn't where i need to be solely putting my time on.

i need to focus on my relationship with Christ more.
i need to focus on my marriage more.
i need to focus on my role as a mother and interact with my daughter more.
i need to focus on my career and where i want to go with it.
... and most of all, i need to focus on ME. getting ME straight. it's ME time, baby.

What's in a name?

:) my first post!

im actually pretty stoked about this b/c i had a previous blog but it didn't really work out.

hopefully i'm able to make this one work out, b/c i loooove blogging and i have alot to say.

i'm actually mostly posting just to see who all is on here maybe before i start babbling my brains out? ;)